Brew Dog, Tactical Nuclear Penguin

Brew Dog, Tactical Nuclear Penguin- 32% abv. Yes, you read that right. It was until recently the World's strongest beer. The brew-physchos at Brew Dog double oak barrel aged brew for 14-months in Scottish whisky casks, then repeatedly froze it to produce this syrupy oaked imperial stout concentrate. It tastes how it sounds. Keep an open mind to what a beer is and enjoy it like a whisky. Pairs well with deep fried Mars bars and Mescaline.
Beer Bloggles Score:  95

Great Divide Chocolate Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout

Great Divide's Chocolate Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout:  9.5% abv. Last night, I killed a Yeti and enjoyed every second of the experience.  Without question this is the best oaked chocolate stout I've had.  The brew is smooth, complex, and finishes with a hint of cayenne for extra excitement.
Beer Bloggles Score:  92 

2011 Fear This Beer Awards



2011 "Fear This Beer" Award Nominations - In a particular order: #5 Double Take IPA- Don't remember what it tastes like. Pairs well with GHB, Rohypnol or any other Roofies. #4 Coors Light - resembles watered down mule urine, pairing well with horse shoes and cow tipping. The upshot: it's better than DayQuil. #3 Vick's DayQuil - Syrupy lambic lacking carbonation unless shaken vigorously. Pairs with Green Tea and Chicken Soup. #2 Redneck Premium Beer - Tastes like soapy sewer water, pairing with cheap Russian Vodka, a Colt .45 and a single hollow point bullet.  And the winner at #1: Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Ale: A schizophrenic train wreck of beloved dignitaries, pairing perfectly with Clozapine and a straitjacket. There you have it!

Coors Light

Coors Light - Abv: they claim 4.2%, but I'm not so sure. This beer is all about the cold.  Cold this, frost brewed that, refreshing...wtf?  Let's not kid ourselves. You get the impression you're drinking yellow snow melt. When I was a kid, I was told to stay away from the yellow snow.  I maintain that was pretty good advice.  I believe beer like this is the main reason Europeans make fun of Americans. Interestingly, thanks to the Volstead Act, Coors made Near-Beer during prohibition.  Apparently they've been slow to embrace the repealling of the 18th Ammendment. Guys...keep reading! The 21st ammendment is just a LITTLE farther down! You can make REAL beer now.  Besides, we all know Prohibition was the real cause of the Great Depression! (ps. I'm not judging you for drinking Coors Light or for eating yellow snow as a kid)
Beer Bloggles Score: 7

Delirium Tremens

Delirium Tremens- 8.5% Abv. Belgium blonde, rated as one of the best beers in the world. The label is epic: surrounded by pink elephants, crocodiles, dragons dancing on a ball, and with Hitchcock's birds overhead. It's all somehow appropriate being that Delirium Tremens is literally severe alcohol withdrawal, evidenced by seizures, hallucinations, fear, and excitment. As for the beer, it's a beautiful blonde with several lovely sisters.
Beer Bloggles Score: 94   

Gouden Carolus Noel

Gouden Carolus Noel- 10% abv Belgium strong dark ale by my favorite Belgium brewer. With no surprise, it's an excellent Christmas beer, being full of flavor, dark, and complex. Pairs well with Christmas mistletoe and New Years hors d'oeuvres.
Beer Bloggles Score: 86 

Troegs Mad Elf

Troegs Mad Elf - 11% Abv. Seasonal Belgium style strong ale with honey and cherries. Personally, I am turned off by cherries, and to a lesser extent, elves. I was pleasantly surprised to find the honey and cherry notes subtle and complimentary, with only a hint of the elf flavor present in the aftertaste. Like with most elves, it gets better with age.
Beer Bloggles Score: 89

Delirium Noel

Delirium Noel-  10% Abv. Belgium dark strong ale.  Pink elephants? Not as odd as the slightly meaty flavor that has me scratching my head.  Otherwise, it's a decent Christmas brew. One pink elephant is enough for me.
Beer Bloggles score: 75

Troegs Java Head Stout

Troegs Java Head Stout - 7.5% Abv. Beer has been brewed since Pre-Neolithic times most likely to celebrate the ending of the Younger Dryas, or end of the last Ice Age.  Sounds like happy times.  Coffee, a relative newcomer, has been around since perhaps the 9th century thanks to Ethiopian goat herders and their desire not to get eaten late in the night.  Today, thanks to modern craft brewers, we now have much happier times to celebrate: a marriage of semi-addictive legal stimulant-laden liquid love in a cup with an oatmeal stout. Cheers!
Beer Bloggles Score:  87

Rogue Northwestern Ale

Rogue Captain Sig's Northwestern Ale- 5.9 to 6.2% Abv; like any fish story, it changes depending on who you ask.  It's a highly awarded (nearly to the point of absurdity) red ale IPA hybrid dedicated to Capt. Sig Hansen of the Northwestern, from Deadliest Catch, 'Rogues' of the Bering Sea.  Hoppy and flavorful, it pairs very well with crab legs devoured in the comfort and safety of your living room on the sofa with the warm glow of a large HD flat screen, 5.1 digital surround sound, and DVR humming away in the periphery.
Beer Bloggles Score:  76

Rogue Hazlenut Brown Nectar Ale

Rogue Hazlenut Brown Nectar Ale - 6.2% abv. Won gold at the '11 GABF, along with a list of awards so long that it rivals Santa's Naughty or Nice list for length. This beer is the NY Yankees, Mario Andretti, or Taylor Swift in whatever competition it enters. Whatever the reasons are, it seems to win. Indeed it is a well crafted Nut Brown which I enjoy, but it's a touch sweet.  By the way, happy belated birthday Taylor Swift. Sorry I missed it again this year. Friends always! - Me.
Beer Bloggles Score: 90

Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Ale

Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Ale - 5.6% abv. Wait...Doughnuts? Bacon? Maple Syrup? A Pepto Bismol Bottle? This is like a schizophrenic train wreck of beloved dignitaries. I like bacon. Perhaps if we could keep adding things like a slize of pizza, chocolate cake, and Justin Bieber it will all be better again and not seem like such a novelty. I could go for gummy bears. Oh my, why is he squeezing a tiny pig? Got any Clozapine? Why are you still reading this?
Beer Bloggles Score: 75 (mainly for the Rogue-Novelty factor)

Trader Jose's Dark Lager

Trader Jose's Dark Lager - Abv: unknown even to the brewer, Cerveceria Mexicana. The color is mysterious.  I think it comes from discarded Mexican wood stain.  It tastes sort of like a watered down Yuengling, with a subtle hint of polyurethane. But hey, for $0.90 per bottle you should be happy you're not drinking Natty Ice.
Beer Bloggles Score: 38

Trader Joe's 2011 Vintage Dark Ale

Trader Joe's 2011 Vintage Dark Ale - 9.0% abv. Shocking. Not shocking like you wake up and find yourself in a horror scene from Saw V, shocking as in you guiltily purchase a White Castle burger on a craving whim and find yourself presented with a bacon-wrapped med. rare filet mignon served by a boobiferous smiling Victoria Secret model. For $4.99 at 750mL, would you expect a carefully crafted Belgium style dark ale by Unibroue? Either would I. This is no three buck Chuck. OK, It's a little rough around the edges and spicy compared to an artisan Belgium, but still a tremendous value for the flavor. I'm off to purchase a case.
Beer Bloggles Score: 82 

Weyerbacher Imperial Pumpkin Ale

Weyerbacher Imperial Pumpkin Ale - 8.0% abv. Although a little winterish for an autumn seasonal, this is one of the best bottled pumpkin ales I've had. It's heartier than most and has flavor all over the place, but without being too 'pumpkiny' or spiced to death.
Beer Bloggles Score: 82    

Phillips Longboat Chocolate Porter

Phillips Longboat Chocolate Porter - 5.2% Abv. A brilliant craft porter brewed passionately with real chocolate in Victoria, BC, receiving a Gold medal at the '08 Canadian Brewing Awards. This is my kind of dessert.
Beer Bloggles Score: 85

Great Divide Belgium Style Yeti

Great Divide's Belgium Style Yeti. 9.5% abv Imperial Stout. World class stout with tons of flavor and a character complex enough to own it's odd name.
Beer Bloggle Score: 89

Samichlaus Classic

Samichlaus Classic - 14% abv. Touted as the World's strongest lager, the "Santa Claus' brewed in Austria by Schloss Eggenberg is certainly one of the most extraordinary dopplebocks imaginable, and supposedly one of the rarest beers on the planet. It's brewed in a single batch once a year on Dec 6th then aged for 10 months before bottling. You can age it for many years. This one is 3 years old. It's expensive, hard to find, almost overwhelming, and impossible to describe. I made the mistake of having two in one night once. Never again. Try one during or after Christmas dinner. 

Beer Bloggles Score: 93

Vick's Dayquil

Vick's Dayquil - 0% abv. Seasonal lambic style brew intended to relieve symptoms of the common cold and flu. Syrupy, with a strong aftertaste of citrus. Lacking any carbonation and forms no head unless shaken vigorously. Best drank in single servings on work or school days from a plastic shot glass or straight from the bottle. Pairs well with chicken noodle soup and green tea.
Beer Bloggles Score: 0

Modelo Especial Cerveza

I'm not sophisticated enough to drink wine, and I don't know a thing about beer-food pairings, so I decided to give beer-movie pairing a crack instead: Modelo Especial - unmemorable, not very popular, and kind of strange. Pairs well with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which is strange enough to distract you from an otherwise boring beer, leaving you with an overall sense of confusion and subtle urge to urinate.
Beer Bloggles Score: 50%

König Ludwig Weissbier

König Ludwig Weissbier - 5.5% abv. In my opinion, this beer sets the standard for Hefeweizens. Others may be more complex or memorable, but if you want to get to know Hefe's on a personal level, begin here.
Beer Bloggles Score: 83% 

König Ludwig Dunkel

König Ludwig Dunkel, Schlossbrauerei Kaltenberg- 5.1% abv. Bavarian brewed dark ale known as the "beer of Royal Highness", also "The noble one among dark beers." Why? Not only because it is brewed at Kaltenberg castle (which it is), not only because it was the claim of its owner Prince Luitpold of Bavaria, a descendant of the author of the Bavarian Beer Purity Law of 1516 to be of the highest quality (which it was), but also the König Ludwig Dunkel ("King Ludwig's Dark") can trace its origins directly back to the very first Dunkel ever made in the 16th century. It's pretty good too.
Beer Bloggles Score: 88%

Allagash Curieux

Allagash Curieux - 11% abv. This is simply the best bourbon ale I have ever tasted. Allagash ages their Tripel (which I also adore) for 8 weeks in Jim Beam Bourbon barrels. Although it's a bourbon strong ale, there is nothing overpowering with this beer. It's gorgeous, smooth, and astoundingly drinkable. Won bronze at the World Beer Cup in '07, but I'm certain gold is in its near future.
Beer Bloggles Score: 93%

Allagash Dubbel

Allagash Dubbel - 7% abv. Winning Gold at the '08 World Beer Cup, Allagash nails a proper Belgium style Dubbel, a somewhat strong brown ale. Full bodied, lots of subtle flavors, yet nothing overpowering.
Beer Bloggles Score: 86%

Redneck Premium Beer

Redneck Premium Beer- abv: very little. The 2nd worst beer I've ever had, bested only by Cave Creek's Chili Beer fail. They say it's the "Taste of America", which is insulting since it tastes like soapy uncarbonated sewer water. I had to take a swig of Vodka to disinfect my mouth. I poured the bulk of the bottle down the sink where it inevitably combined with other fluids of it's quality.
Beer Bloggles Score: 1% (generous)

Lagunitas Doppel Weizen

Lagunitas Doppel Weizen - 9% abv. Say: "LAH-GOO-KNEE-TUSS"! This is the best single beer I've ever had out of Kal-ee-fawrn-yuh. A delicious, amped up, Bavarian-style double wheat that rebels against what other brewers typically have done...take a beautifully crafted beer, emulate it, then water it down to make it more acceptable to a wider American pallet- BOGUS. Well done boys.
Beer Bloggles Score: 93%

Dundee Oktoberfest

Dundee Oktoberfest - 5.5% abv Limited Release Marzen Style Lager, born in Rochester NY. In a word: Boring. I think it's really an American style lager with some food coloring. It left no impression upon any of my senses except raising my interest level in trying a different kind of beer. Don't get me wrong, it isn't bad or undrinkable, it's very drinkable...and worth trying, especially if found on sale. It's just boring.
Beer Bloggles Score: 49%

Allagash Victor Ale

Allagash Victor Ale - 9.0% abv. Belgium style ale brewed with cabernet franc grapes in a highly limited annual release from the Allagash Tribute Series. I expected an unpleasant grape-flavored lambic, but instead surprisingly found a high quality Belgium-style ale with delicate notes of mild wine in a beautiful balance that finishes slightly spicy and tart. Well done Allagash!
Beer Bloggles Score: 91%

Ommegamg Tripel Perfection

Ommegang- Tripel Perfection: 8.9% abv. If ever the Atlantic Ocean suddenly closed up, Cooperstown NY would be merged with Belgium. At least that's how it seems by the successfully brewed Belgium style triple, an Ommegang Specialty Beer Program graduate, the second from the program finally emerging after three years development. I'll admit, they did an excellent job in all respects, but it still falls short of my favorite triple, the Gouden Carolus Tripel.
Beer Bloggles Score: 90%

Allagash Four Ale

Allagash Four Ale - 10% abv. Brewed with four malts, four sugars, four hop varieties, and fermented guess how many times? FOUR.  Guess what... it's a Belgium style Quadruple. Receiving a bronze in 2007 at the GABF, it's a brilliant quad knock-off. If you can find it, buy it and try it. If you can't, go to the brewery in Portland, ME and get in on the free tasting. Yes, that's a free beer tasting. 
Beer Bloggles Score: 82%